Tidus and the Radioactive Mutant Lobsters
by Eric and Derek
Summary: On holiday and lulu plays a trick on Tidus. the Radioactive Mutant Lobsters strike Tidus and make him more dipstickish than normal. Fun to read. give it go!


**Tidus and the Radioactive Mutant Lobsters**

**10th May**

The gang was stopping in a cottage in a seaside town in England, it was about mid afternoon and the gang was unpacking their belongings.

" This is gonna be soooooooooooo great!" yelled Tidus as he zoomed through the cottage like a maniac. " Wheeeeee! I claim this room! You pesky pack of humans!"

Lulu simply slapped herself in the face and rolled her eyes.

" Sit down and be quiet!" she snapped " do you want to get injured?"

Tidus thought about it a moment, and nodded his head wildly

" Yeah! Yeah!" he shouted, and ran off.

Lulu thought that his agreement could be used to an advantage and she reminded herself about the lobster factory down the road.

Later that afternoon, Tidus came into the living room where Lulu instantly switched off the television she had been watching.

Tidus watched her for a while and noticed the look of terror on her face as she turned round.

" Tidus!" she said, " thank God you're alright!"

He smiled like a dipstick.

" Hey, aren't you scared?"

" What of? Wakka? Yeah I no, his gayness is scaring me too..."

" No not that you imbecile! The news!"

" What? Oh yeah that anchor man on channel 8, ewwww he gives me the creeps..."

" NO! The head lines! The lobsters..."

" Lobsters?...what lobsters?...I like lobsters..." he smiled again

" you mean you haven't heard?"

" I don't hear anything..."

" The...um..Radioactive...mutant...lobsters have escaped!"

" Where from?" Tidus began to look panicky

" The lobster factory down the road!"

" Lobsters?...what lobsters?...I like lobsters..."

" Heh...the radioactive mutant lobsters that like to pinch off peoples 3rd toe from the end on the right foot!"

" Lobsters can't count! How do they no which toe to pinch?"

**_This is going to get interesting_** Lulu thought " these are not just lobsters, they are Lobsters, with a capital L."

" How do they know? If you don't have toes, they can't take them!"

" They take your fingers instead " she said quickly " if they don't know which toe it is, they take all of them."

Tidus pondered... An unusual thing for a boy of his low IQ to do (if you must know it's IQ23, average moron is about 70) and with the idea in his head he dashed off upstairs.

Lulu giggled. **_Perfect. You want injuries, you get injuries._**

A while later Lulu began looking round the cottage. The others were out, looking around the seaside town, but Lulu stayed and watched over Tidus. Well, she said she was. But it didn't work out that way.

Lulu lay down on the sofa and ignored the faint yelps coming from upstairs_. **Tidus**_ she thought

" Try and get me now madiohactive rutant globsters...um...yeah!"

Lulu woke with a start.

" come and get my toes!" shouted Tidus.

**_You want them to come and get you do you? _**Lulu chuckled. She dashed into the kitchen and looked around. She saw it, hanging over the seaview window frame was a plastic lobster ornament. **_Perfect._**

She wandered carefully up to the room Tidus had claimed and lay the Lobster on his pillow. She waited.

After a while Tidus exited the bathroom.

" Help!" Lulu screamed " help! It's after my 3rd toe on the right foot!"

" I'll save you!" Tidus called.

**_Oh god, another Banjo man!_** She tutted. " How can YOU save me!"

" Don't worry, it can't get me."

Lulu was puzzled. **_It might be plastic, but he doesn't know that. Why can't it ' get' him?_**

" Why can't it get you?"

" I too have my secrets, so keep your nose out my beeswax"

**_Beeswax?_** " Hurry up then lets see you do it"

Lulu was secretly a bit mystified about Tidus's apparent immunity towards Radioactive Mutant Lobsters but all the same, this was gonna be one hell of a laugh!

Tidus limped towards the bed and grabbed the plastic Lobster by the tail. He opened the window and threw it out.

" Hmmm, that's odd." He said, " It didn't even put up a fight!"

Although Lulu thought she was going to laugh herself crazy, she didn't; she wondered why he had limped and wasn't scared of the scary ' made up' lobster.

" Why weren't you scared of the scary ' made up' lobster?" she questioned him

" Made...up?" he mumbled " you mean I cut off my toes for no reason?"

" You what?"

" I cut off my toes so it couldn't get me and pinch them!"

" Tidus!" she yelled in blind fury " it was a joke! I made it up! The were no RADIOACTIVE MUTANT LOBSTERS that escaped the factory!"

" Oh." Tidus smiled again like a half-wit. " I knew that..."

This is based on a true story I played on my brother when we were stopping in that cottage in Wales (England). The cutting off toes bit I added in. But every thing else is true. Even about Wakka's gayness...

Please review! We hoped you liked it!


End file.
